Discorded Humanity
by Gimli McGuyver
Summary: Dave is a human, but a very unlikely one. also, ManOwar and long battle sequences mix incredibly well...  revised version is on  under the same name
1. Prologue

The chill in the air cold the young warriors burning heart, the warrior had drawn his twin blades to make his final stand. The sudden rush of adrenaline had caused the warrior to loose focus, swinging his swords wildly at his enemy, missing every time.

"Is that the best you can do" his opponent uttered with a smarmy grin. The warrior had finally caught his enemy off guard, lunging forwards with his blades extended in front of him.

The battle was over.

The warrior had won. The sounds of music played as the credits rolled.

The player had beaten the game, taking a triumphant sip of coffee.

The player wasn't old, and wasn't young either.

At twenty years of age, you'd think I'd have something better to do than sit around playing video games and write dodgy fan-fiction about some incredulous children's programme which had somehow, through the miracle of the internet, gained a whole fan-base dedicated to memes and the like. In any-case, I was in the closet about it. I was unsure of how people would think. I'd often dreamed of being in that world, human or otherwise, but in all fairness I knew it wasn't to be.

How wrong I was.


	2. Chapter 1

The day had begun like every other.

Waking up at 1:30 in the afternoon, taking a shower, eating something and then looking for work… so in a sense, a boring repetitious life, decorated with bad jokes and idiotic siblings.

After having carried out this routine, I had given up for the day. My hopes of finding that perfect job smashed. Giving a deep sigh and a break into my trail of thought, made another coffee. It was at this point the house got cold

Colder than usual. I grabbed a black hoodie with a broken zip, I was still cold. Taking my long coat off the hook, I put it on and fastened the buttons. It had begun to snow outside, Unusual for England in December. Putting the pilot goggles on my head, I peeked out the windows, giving off another sigh out of boredom. After the last of the coffee had been drunk, I went to 'drain the lizard'. As I did this, on the other side of the door, an eerie light had begun to erupt out of a crack in the walls.

Unwittingly falling through the crack as I walked out the bathroom, I looked around to view my surroundings. I was in a freefall. I did what any other person would do. I panicked, but being known to improvise, I grabbed the lower corners of my coat in an attempt to slow myself down.

Landing in a tree, I had caught my arm on a branch and had broken it. I had screamed for help in the hope that anyone would hear. To my dismay, I assumed the worst. Using my good arm, I manoeuvred myself to a position where I could land on my feet. After landing I took a few steps. But then I stopped, my eyes darting around looking for apparent danger. Hearing a cockatrice clucking away, I attempted to sneak past, but alas, a twig snapped under foot. My first thoughts were "fuck"

I had to act quickly, so I went for the beast's eyes… the beast had fled almost instantaneously, I collapsed on the ground, and stayed put for almost an hour, slowly recovering from the shock of coming face to face with a cockatrice.

I could feel my hair getting wet, but no rain was pouring that day. Running my fingers through my hair, my eyes widened at the sight of blood. I stood up, looking around for a place to go. I had spotted a small glimmer of hope in the form of a hut. I hoped to hell that I would make it.

I was too tired to run, but I did so anyway. Frantically knocking on the door, I had hoped there was someone who could help me. The door was opened, by what I assumed to be a hallucination. Too injured to formulate a sentence, I struggled to get out the only two words which could work.

"Help me"

The hallucination was stunned upon hearing my voice.

It quickly dragged me in by the hood, and laid me on the floor to take a good look at my injuries. After a few minutes of the hallucination poking and prodding me, I had come to realize that this was no hallucination. Gently placing my hand over the being's appendage, I smiled "excuse me," I said with a hoarse voice, "do have some water, or some form of painkiller?" the being nodded, passing a glass of water to me.

I used my good arm to lift the glass, taking a few swigs, I noticed the strange being drawing closer with a lit candle, looking the being up and down for a few moments and I could make out the stripes of a zebra. "This day just gets weirder and weirder, first a one-sided squabble with a cockatrice, and now a zebra giving me a medical, what next?" the Zebra chuckled at my remark.

"Strange days are ahead for you, you may even make new friends too" she spoke with an African accent, Zimbabwean maybe? It was hard to tell. "But first I must ask, your arm, fixing it, an easy task?" I looked at the zebra for a moment, a smile creeping across my face, I nodded happily "yes it is, I just need a plaster cast and a sling" the zebra looked worried a this answer "I gather I wont be going anywhere looking like this" I continued "not to worry though, I can wait" there was a knock at the door, a child's voice was heard "Zecora, I got them herbs you asked for"

The zebra opened the door for the Child, who took one look at me, as I waved "hi there little one" I cheerily smiled, my eyes scanning the little filly, noting the element of fear on her face. "Relax little one, I'm a friend, strange as it seems" the little being walked up over to me, "and besides," I used my good arm to pat her on the head "I need to know things, like who's in charge and how I can get there without being seen, which by the looks of things is going to be impossible" I said with a glum look.

Looking out of the window, I could see a green flame bolt across the sky. "What was that?" I asked inquisitively

"That's a message from princess celestia" the little yellow-furred red-maned filly answered with a southern twang. "Hmm sounds like a god of some sorts" I mused to myself as the filly looked at me with confusion "y'all aint from around here are ya?"

I glanced down at her "what was your first clue, the opposable thumbs?" I wiggled the aforementioned appendages "or the lack of fur?" I finished sarcastically with a genuine smile. She looked up at me in a huff.

The door was suddenly burst open. I shielded my eyes from the dust being kicked up, the scuffle of hooves, and then I was suddenly pinned against the wall of the hut, as if by magic, which strangely enough… it was.

The Six ponies standing there, of different status and 2 of each type, were glaring at me. The orange and blond one took one look at the young filly.

"Applebloom get yerself back home, now" the mare spoke with an equally southern twang to the young filly, now known to me as Applebloom. It was apparent that the six new ponies on the scene were afraid of me. "I see," the six looked up at me in shock "that's what that green flame was… it was a warning" I looked down, seemingly upset by the ordeal. I winced in pain as the purple mare increased her magical grip on my arms. "It's hurt, twilight" a shy voice chimed.

"That it is, my young fluttershy, tell me now why?" Zecora spoke with such honour, indicating the magic currently surrounding my limbs. "I received a message from princess celestia about a threat to all of Equestria wandering the everfree forest" I looked up as she mentioned the word human.

"I'm perceived as a threat?" they all look at me. "I can currently use one arm, I don't know where in the universe I am, and you're telling me _I'm a threat?_" the pain in my arm was more than enough to give me a much needed adrenaline rush without getting frustrated. "Look, just let me go, and I'll leave" I said, looking them straight in the eye

"We can't let you leave, princess's orders" the cyan Pegasus spoke.

"Well, what do you suppose we do with the ghastly clothed thing?" the white furred mare asked before finishing with a "no offence". I spotted a pink blur darting around the room "I know, I know… lets have a party!"

I rolled my eyes. I noticed the purple pony was starting to run out of steam.

"You do realize I have no intention of hurting anyone, right?" I solemnly said to the six colourful ponies in front of me. I looked at the orange and blonde pony. "I see that your related to the young filly," she nodded "she's a good kid" I smiled. The magic that was surrounding me suddenly dissipated. I watched as the purple one collapsed.

"Where's big Mac when you need him" I heard the orange one curse under her breath.

i had landed on the floor with an audible flump. They watched as I stood up, with a cheeky grin plastered on my face. "Tell ya what," I chuckled, they gave me a look which could be described as evil "if I crouch down, you can prop her up and put her front hooves over my shoulders" they gawped at my proposal "I'll be glad to carry her to wherever it is she's needed to go" the white maned mare used her magic, lifting the purple pony onto my back, I grasped her forelegs in my good hand. "I'll follow, you know where we are going" they watched as I got up from my current position.

I walked beside the yellow Pegasus and the orange pony. "You got a name?" the orange pony asked. "Yup" I grunted, having miscalculated the purple pony's weight.

"The name is Dave" I said with a smile.

"well, im Applejack, the shy one on your left is Fluttershy and in front of you is rarity and pinkie pie" Applejack cheerily answered.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance but… who's the rainbow blur?" I asked

"I'm rainbow dash, fastest flyer in Equestria," the Cyan Pegasus boasted. "And the pony on your back? That's Twilight Sparkle"

I took a glance out into the clearing, in the distance I could see a small town, but more importantly… a faint blip flying towards us.

For the first time since I got here in this crazy land of ponies and mythological creatures… I felt genuine fear.

A storm was coming. 

Standing at the clearing, I watched the blip draw closer.

The 5 ponies watched as I crouched down to lift the sleeping Twilight off my back.

"Hey, wake up sleepy" I said, gently poking her. Watching her eyes drift open.

"Do you have a piece of parchment handy?" I asked. They all looked at me.

"Now is hardly the time to write a letter Dave" Dash chuckled, but then her face fell as she saw the seriousness in my eyes. Pinkie pie, known for her reality bending abilities pulls a piece out of no-where, "what do you need it for?" Fluttershy asked, as the blip now seen to be a chariot pulled by armoured pegasi landed. "You're about to find out" I said with vindication, the glint in my eye had suggested I had an idea.

The 6ft tall Alicorn stepped off the chariot, glared at me for a moment, and then asked the question "Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student…why isn't the Human dead?" I watched as Twilight looked down, despondent because she felt as though she had let the princess down. "You have no right," I looked at the white alicorn dead straight in the eyes "absolutely no right to demand that of your student, however much of a threat you think I pose" the others could only watch as I defended my right to live. "I am not your enemy, but I am humbled that you came all this way" I kneeled before the Princess, who looked increasingly less hateful and more intrigued by me.

"May I say that, seeing as this is first impressions, you don't seem to be very trusting… but I understand, if a human had appeared here before and attempted to taint your home... I'd be wary too" I smiled, but then got serious again. Standing up for myself against royalty was no easy task. "I have here a blank piece of parchment, and I wish to make an agreement, you want me dead, but I want to live, so how about this," I spoke with conviction, the ponies could only watch as a game of verbal tennis was played between me and their princess.

I rolled out the parchment "I need your horn tip," I watched as the white deity lowered her head "I shall cut my finger open and sign a blood contract, thus swearing an oath to both you and your sister… and all ponies of Equestria" I smiled.

"What will contract be about?" Twilight asked, worried that it might be a trick.

"Relax Ms Sparkle," I flashed her a cheeky grin "I'm not Q, a sneaky manipulative omni-potent being, as for the contract?" my gaze met with the alicorn's again.

"The contract will state, that Ponyville will be under my protection, and that I will aid the Bearers of harmony with what ever dangers they face, even if it means death"

The princess looked at me in awe "I never thought that humans had a sense of honour, if that is the case," she looked at me, her eyes staring into me "you really mean it"

I nodded and saluted. I pricked my finger on the tip of her horn. I wrote my name in my own blood, thus sealing the contract. "Princess Celestia," I looked her in the eye as she raised her head once more "thank you for providing me with this opportunity"

"I suggest you find yourself a place to stay," she glared at me "I wouldn't want ponyville's newest defender to catch something", she cackled.

As the chariot took off, I was lost in thought. Where could I stay…?

Twilight looked at me for a moment; I sense she wanted to learn about humans. "Why don't you stay with me? I could use the help, plus I might learn a thing or two about humans and vice versa" I raised an eyebrow, and then nodded in agreement.

As we walked through the town, I got the feeling I was being watched, but there was no real change in the atmosphere, as long as the six ponies were with me, the ponies of ponyville knew I was no threat. I waved hello to some of them, and a turquoise lyre playing pony's eyes widened then shouted "I KNEW IT!" as loud as she could.

We arrived at the library which was, safe to say, a mess. I looked around to see a dragon picking up the books, and shelving them. "Hey spike," spike turned but soon hid "don't worry spike, he's here to help" Twilight said with a smile, coxing the small dragon out of his hiding place. "My name is Dave, little dude" I said with a smile.

The dragon looked me up and down, shrugged his shoulders and grunted "whatever, just don't let me catch up eating my gems"

"dude, Humans don't eat gems… we eats other stuff like vegetables…and um…well, I'll stick with vegetables and other sources of protein which don't come from an animal" six pony mouths dropped. It was safe to say that it was the only real reason they had to fear "don't worry about it," I said as I looked out of the window "as long as I can find some peanuts, I can become a vegetarian quite easily" they didn't know what to say "and besides, it wasn't exactly like I had a choice, most humans do eat a varied diet of meat and vegetables, however there are now vegans, who wont eat anything with a shadow" they laughed. The tension in the room had been broken,

It had been several hours since the others had left, the books all having been re-shelved "hey, Twi? What's this book about?"

She took one look "it's the book on legends of Equestria" she said as I opened the book. As I read the book, I noticed the image of a sole human fighting against the deities of the sun and moon. I then noticed the moon siding with the human and the sun killing the human. I frowned,_ so that's what happened… a human comes to Equestria, causes a conflict between the two deities and is executed for it._

It made me stop to think. I continued my reading. Taking note of the different legends, but the one that caught my eye was the strange deity known as Discord. I was all too familiar with this being for a number of reasons.

"Twilight, you've defeated Discord haven't you?" I asked, knowing full well the answer would be yes. I was right. "Is there a chance he could come back?"

"I don't know, but I hope not" she answered. "Why?" she asked.

"You remember when I said that I wasn't Q?"

"Yes" I looked at her; I could see she was worried.

"What if I told you that Q and Discord were one in the same, an agent of chaos…"

I continued my explanation. Her eyes widened as the explanation and the stories I told her about Q and how he affect the human race's desire for knowledge. I dare not tell her about the scourge of my universe.

"…that's why when I read this part I asked if he could escape his imprisonment"

She looked worried, "ah forget it, if he does escape again, I'll put him down, it is my job after all" I smiled reassuring her. I put my hand on her head and ruffled her mane, hearing a little giggle. "Told you I was friendly" I grinned. I took off my long coat. The pain in my arm was still there. "Is the hospice open? I need a plaster cast on my arm" I chuckled at my own stupidity.

I put the hood up and the coat back on, zipping it up high enough to perch my hand in between the two halves.


	3. Chapter 2

Seeing as I was wearing all black, it was pretty easy to hide in the shadows. Looking around I could see the hustle and bustle of the town, Ponies going about their joyful day to day lives. One couldn't help but smile. "Twilight, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything, what is it?" she asked me, her face slowly contorting into a worried look. "I want to introduce myself to the whole of ponyville… but I don't want them scared" I grinned sheepishly, knowing she could possibly help.

"Tell you what, after we've been to see the nurse to get you patched up, we'll go see the mayor" Twilight reassured me. Walking in, I simply perched down onto the seats while twilight convinced the nurse to give me a helping hoof. Having the arm x-rayed, I continued my little chat with Twilight, who exchanged looks of worry and confusion with the nurse pony.

The arm had been put into a cast. I thanked the nurse pony with a hug, leaving Twilight flabbergasted. "I've never seen anyone react to getting fixed up like that before" she broke her silence. I looked down to the ground "well, most days I'd look after myself, was always on my own ya see," I sighed. Looking into the purple mare's eyes, "there's still a lot I need to do, like get a weapon to protect the town" I continued.

It had been a few hours of waiting to see the mayor, but luckily with Twilight beside me, it wasn't long before the situation was explained. "I see, so he is officially the protector of Ponyville," the mayor scanned me up and down, noting my overt friendly exterior, "that's very noble of you" she smiled, but then returned to the serious tone of the scene. "I think I know the best way to get people to know you better" I looked at the mare, sitting behind the desk with a mischievous grin on her face. "A party? Seriously?" I blurted out in distress; I was never one for big gatherings.

Applejack burst though the door, shouting something about a cockatrice getting too near the edge of the forest. "I'll be back guys" I shouted as I jumped out of the window, heading towards the forest as fast as my legs could take me.

With each stride I took, I felt chills, the chills of impending death.

I saw three young fillies cowering behind a large boulder in hopes that their eyes won't meet the stony gaze of certain death. I gritted my teeth as I jumped into the air, bringing my good fist down onto the cockatrice's beak. "Children, run" I shouted. The urge to fight had risen. I ripped a piece of fabric off my t-shirt, using it to cover the beast's eyes. The beast flailed its legs around wildly catching me off guard, leaving three gashes on my chest.

I collapsed to the ground, feigning death. The cockatrice edged itself closer me. I grabbed its legs, and swung it into a tree. My broken arm flaring up, I decided it best to formulate the perfect death sentence. I jumped onto its back, and snapped its neck.

Finally getting back up on my feet, I walked into the mayor's office, seeing the worry on the three mares faces. I smiled, blood running down from a cut on my cheek. "I won" I said weakly, not noticing the full extent of my wounds. I collapsed.

Waking up, I took a groggy look at the white room, stitches running across my body, bandages wrapped neatly and tightly around my leg. I could smell disinfectant in the air. The stench of it was almost enough to make me gag. That's when I noticed the sleeping form of Twilight Sparkle. She looked peaceful, lying there with her head gently resting on an open book. The nurse walked in with a tray of food. I brought a finger to my lips, indicating that the purple unicorn was sleeping. The nurse smiled, and then quietly placed the tray on my lap. I took a good look at the book, but couldn't recognize any of the characters used. It finally occurred to me that, even though they spoke perfect English, they didn't have the same writing system. Earlier when I was asking about Discord, I had just assumed that the book itself was imported from another country. i took a look at the food, taking a whiff of the porridge that was currently steaming, picking up a spoon I took a mouthful. It was Just plain heavenly, although I never was that keen on porridge. I noticed the sleeping pony had stirred from her innocent slumber. I had only eaten half of the porridge, deciding to share the rest. "Hey twilight," I said with a smile "you look like your hungry, have the rest of this porridge." I handed her the bowl, she gave me a now trademarked worried look.

"Dave, why? You need it more than me" she stated in a motherly tone.

I picked up the glass of orange juice, taking a sip. "You could have died!" she shouted, tears starting to roll down her cheek. I looked down, trying to come up with something to say, but then I realized "I swore an oath remember? That oath was to protect Ponyville and its inhabitants; I couldn't just stand by while that beast was getting near to the town" I looked into her eyes, her fur darkened by her tears. I picked up a tissue to dry her eyes. "and besides, I don't plan on dying any time soon" I smiled. The nurse walked in to see Twilight munching happily on the porridge, "its okay nurse…err…"

The nurse smiled. "Redheart" she gave me her name.

"Well, its okay Nurse Redheart, I ate half and gave the rest to her, it's the least I could do" I continued with a grin. "The poor dear's been by your bedside for three days"

Nurse Redheart informed me, I could only blink for a moment to let the information seep in. "three days?" I asked with hints of worry. She simply nodded "it was a miracle you survived," she said with a sheepish grin "you're very lucky"

I chuckled, even if it hurt to high hell "the cockatrice wasn't" as I said this, the nurse's eyes widened, as did twilight's.

Twilight started asking me lots of questions, like how I stopped the Cockatrice.

"Simple," I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "the Cockatrice has the ability to turn living flesh into stone right? Well acting on this principle," twilight looked at me, watching me open my eyes. "I used my now ruined t-shirt to blind the creature, I then…" I trailed off; Twilight could tell I was worried about telling her the events. "I snapped its neck, thus killing it" I could see her jaw drop. "I had to, other wise those three fillies would run into the damn thing again"

"Three fillies?" Twilight racked her brain, finally coming to a conclusion.

"Girls, you can come in now" she called out. Three young ponies walked through the door, one I had previously met, "Hello Applebloom," I smiled, I could see her eyes were bloodshot. "Hey, chin up little one, I'm okay, it'll take a lot more to take me down than a stupid cockatrice" I boasted, a feeble attempt to make them feel better.

"Just try to be more careful in future" I patted her on the head, the other two took a glance over my damaged body. The white furred, dual-tone maned pony spoke with elegance "I must apologize for getting you into this situation" I shook my head at this, "no need young-un, what's your name?" I asked with a smile

"Sweetie Belle" she sniffed, I placed my hand on her head. "Trust me, I was," I stopped mid sentence to search for the right word "I was simply doing my duty as the new defender of Ponyville", the little orange one looked up at me for a moment. Then with a big grin she started to frantically speak "dude, that was so awesome, the way you fought that thing, and you were all like BAM, and wham and stuff was so cool"

I couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. "What's your name" I asked

"Its Scootaloo dude" the orange filly replied with a grin as wide as china. Suddenly they all chimed in together "and we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" I looked at the three kids, who each had an equally large grin on their face "so what were you doing in the forest?"

"We were trying to find our Cutie marks," Appleboom started. I glanced over to Twilight, mouthing the words '_what the fuck is a Cutie mark?_' she giggled. "We were gathering ingredients for Zecora" Sweetie Belle continued,

"But then we ran into the Cockatrice, so we hid" Scootaloo finished. Had I not met Applebloom earlier I would have sworn they were attached at the hip.

"Well, hey, least I could prove myself to the Ponies of ponyville," I said with a smile

"So, no harm done," I grinned. "Nurse? Can I get this cast off? If you've got other patients then just bring the equipment her, and I'll do it myself" I smiled. She brought the equipment, and simply just cut along a line. The cast fell off.

I rubbed my newly repaired arm, feeling the tingle in air, the electricity of the moment. I pulled Twilight into a hug. "Thanks for sticking around, Twi" I whispered in her ear. "Did you happen to find a book with strange lettering and two humans on the front by any chance?" I asked, she nodded "yep, brought it with me, seeing as your stuck here for a while" she handed me the book, the only book from my world.

Battle Royale. I opened the book, she could only watch as my eyes scanned the pages.

"Damn it, I'll have to start again" I chuckled, she looked at me for a moment, I could see the cogs going round in her head, I watched her thought process. She finally spoke. "Could you read it to me?" she asked, like a child would ask for a story at bedtime. I couldn't help but smile "alright, but first of all, let me explain a little bit about this book, it's a commentary about how War can effect lives" I noted her eyes were glistening with intent. "So its about war" she looked down, "read it anyway" she continued.

After four days, most of my wounds had been healed, and the two of us had read through to the 60th chapter of the book. I could see the tears in her eyes as I read the last sentence. "Haruka and Chisato cried out with joy while Satomi got up from her sofa, but next to her Yuko turned pale…. Shall we save the rest for back at the library?" I asked the purple mare beside me. She nodded.

As we walked back to the library, I noticed the looks I was getting from the other ponies, but not looks of fear. I was surprised by a few who even asked me what I was. Some even thanked me for stopping the cockatrice.

Opening the library door, you could feel the atmosphere change.

"SURPRISE" the bouncing pink party pony shouted with glee.

I looked around to see quite a lot of ponies inside the library, ponies of every shape and size. I felt myself being pulled into it by a blue blur. "Dash, lemme go! I protested, but in the end, I gave up.

This was certainly going to be an interesting night.

I watched as the familiar blip in the sky drew closer to me.

As it landed, my stomach sank. I was expecting the Mega-bitch, Celestia.

But who I got was someone smaller, and kinder to boot.

"HELLO, THOU HAST DONE ME A GREAT HONOUR PINKIE PIE, FOR INVITING ME TO THINE PARTY" the small alicorn boomed out in what some ponies have dubbed the 'Royal Canterlot voice'.

"Princess Luna, the Royal Canterlot voice isn't needed here" I said quickly kneeling.

"I must apologize for my current state, fresh out of the hospital today" I continued with my explanation. She simply beckoned me to rise. "You must be the Human Celestia warned me about". She spoke quietly, not wanting to raise my alarms. "it's okay, I'm actually quite safe, unless you plan on attacking Ponyville" I said with a chuckle.

She looked at me for a moment, and then she realized I was the defender of the town "Celestia can be a bit fearful of new things, especially after…" the little alicorn trailed off. "You don't need to worry, I know what its like to lose oneself to darkness" I said, my eyes meeting hers.

"I can't really be bothered to tell you my story, so how about we enjoy the party" I chuckled, breaking the spell of silence as she looked me over.

As I had said…

It was to be an interesting night.


	4. Chapter 3

The wind blew, making the leaves dance as if to the music coming from the library.

I stood on the balcony watching as ponies danced the night away. Luna was mingling with the guests, attempting to make friends. Twilight was pouring herself a drink, while pinkie pie bounced up and down. I gazed in wonder, questioning where the pink pony found the energy.

"Hey, sugarcube, how come yer not partying?" Applejack asked me, making me jump. I looked at her, with a content look on my face. "I never was one for big gatherings, I guess you could say that im a little bit nervous when at big parties like this" I answered with a chuckle, still in slight pain from the fight with a cockatrice.

"And besides, I only got out the hospital yesterday" by my calculations, a significant amount of time had passed since the party had begun, and the moon was hovering at 2am. I watched as Luna hopped into her chariot, she waved goodbye to her new friends. It was at that point the music stopped, everyone left for their respective homes. I took a deep breath, and plonked myself on the sofa. Looking over to see a sleeping Spike, I decided it best to scoop him up and put him to bed.

"Dave," twilight said as she watched me tuck Spike in. "that was…"

"He's a child, remember? It's only right to treat him as such from time to time" I interrupted her, as I walked over to her. "That was almost fatherly" she said,

"Maybe your right," I agreed "but still, I'm only twenty, still young myself"

I watched as twilight's jaw dropped, "seriously? Twenty? I thought you were younger than that" she stated, I deadpanned, racking my brain to find a logical answer.

"Humans age differently to Ponies I guess" I gleefully answered. I then went on to explain how bland human life could be, I nodded happily "at least that's what I think anyways" I chuckled, I could hide my intelligence really well, although I found some concepts from Equestria hard to swallow, specifically the little debate we had about the sun and moon being moved by the princess' magical abilities.

In the end I gave up arguing with the words "if I can see it in person, then I'll believe it" she smiled at this. But then she watched my face falter, as if trying to see my thoughts. "I need to get something, kind of similar to a…what was it called? A cutie mark?" she nodded, "do you think there's a tattoo place around, or something similar?" she started opening books to find information on the subject. She looked up at me for a moment. "Looks like we're going back to Zecora's again" she chuckled.

"Alright, but we go in the morning" I yawned. Lying down on the sofa, I heard twilight's quiet voice as she bid me goodnight.

I couldn't sleep, seeing as there was an unknown amount of things which could attack the town. I scanned over different books, familiarizing myself with the beasts, demons and dark deities of Equestrian mythology. I had to be ready for what ever came waltzing in.

I stepped out into the cold, and started to walk, the walk soon developed into a run, I ran the entire circumference of the town edge. My legs were burning.

I had noticed the stream of lights flickering around me. How they danced, how they shone. Before long, I had just assumed they were fireflies.

I arrived back at the library, where one particular firefly started to glow, upon closer inspection, the firefly turned out to be the symbol of magic.

"Twilight, wake up," I said quietly in her ear, she opened her eyes. "Look at this"

I said, noting her disbelief as the elements of harmony were floating around me, soon the elements started fusing themselves onto my body. The element of magic resided on my forehead, much like a Buddha spot. The element of kindness made its home between my shoulder blades. The element of loyalty and the element of honesty rested themselves on my calves. The elements of laughter found its way onto my chest, settling itself above my heart. I suddenly felt a brief burst of pain.

While the rest settled themselves as tattoos on my body, the element of magic caused me great pain as the crystal somehow bore itself slightly into my skull. The pain lasted for a minute. I watched her face as it contorted into another look of worry. "Well it seems I'm going to be stuck here" I said as I picked myself up from the floor.

Twilight nuzzled me gently, trying to figure out what to do. "Twi, just send a message to Celestia about this, she needs to know," I smiled, knowing full well the severity of the situation. "Looks like I wont need to see Zecora after all" I chuckled, while wiping fresh blood off my forehead.

I stayed awake for the rest of the night, I told twilight to send the letter I the morning.

I set off to find a clearing to see what I could do with these newly acquired elements.

As I began experimenting, for a while I could feel a sudden electric current rush through my body. I locked on to a nearby fallen branch and tried to lift it telekinetically. Nothing had happened. So, I decided to try something else. I jumped up.

Weirdly, I stayed put in the air "holy shit," I muttered to myself. I glided around ponyville for a few moments. In the end I found myself perched atop the carousel boutique. I laid there on the roof, and watched the moon fall gently into the horizon.

The sun came up on another strange day in Ponyville.

I jumped down, walking to Sweet Apple Acres. I watched as the green flame of a message flew across the sky towards Canterlot.

I took a deep sigh, knocked on the door to the boutique. The door was answered by Sweetie Belle "good morning Dave" she greeted me with a tired smile, "the shop isn't open for another three hours, but im sure my sister won't mind if I let you in"

I took a few steps, and noticed the state the room was in, different fabrics laid out, the mannequins covered in dress prototypes and pins. I noticed a strip of fabric long enough to tie around my head as a bandana, covering the element of magic on my forehead. "So how are you today? Sweetie" I asked, she smiled, happily munching on her breakfast. "Well today's a school day, so I'll probably be bored, plus… nah I don't think you'd be able to help"

I shook my head. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, little did I know a certain purple maned fashionista was eavesdropping. "Its Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, they keep bullying me, Applebloom and Scootaloo" I hand on her shoulder for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Rarity, you can come out now," I said with a smirk "you may as well hear about it too" I smiled a slightly depressed smile, "also, Rarity, I think you need to gather the other elements later at the library" she was about to ask about the bandana "anyways… yeah, I know what its like being bullied," Sweetie belle looked up at me "I know what its like, walking into a classroom, getting called hurtful names, people pushed me around because I was too… um… sensitive, I suppose that's the right word for it," I continued, taking a breath. I took a glance at rarity, she looked sympathetic towards me, "but then something happened, I was surrounded by twenty students of different grades, all kicking me when I was down, little did I know it, but I was stronger than them, sure twenty against one was bad odds, but I stood my ground, after that day, nobody would attempt to hurt me, because I continued to smile"

I saw the tears hit the floor, "don't cry, in fact don't let those stuck up snobs get to you, because your better than them" I smiled, patting the small filly on the head. "Dry your eyes rarity, I require some new clothes, preferably long sleeved t-shirts, boxer shorts and black trousers" I lifted my arms and everything, so she could take measurements. "I never knew your life was like that, Dave" she said, her voice trembling slightly with hints of sadness, "hey, Rarity, if you want, I can walk Sweetie Belle and her friends to school" I noted her radiant smile had reappeared.

"If its not too much trouble, I need to tidy" I chuckled at her for a moment.

"It was all true," I said darkly "life on my world is rife with sadness, but we find happiness in doing things we love," I spoke peacefully. She had finished her measurements, she then handed me another piece of fabric "in case you lose the other one" she smiled, I noticed the musical notes on it.

"Thanks rarity" I pulled her into a hug, but the hug was interrupted by a young filly clearing her throat "can we go now?" Sweetie belle asked glumly, I could tell she wasn't pleased to go to school. "Hey Sweetie, remember, don't let them get to ya, now lets go find your friends" I smiled.

As we walked out we could see a certain orange filly zoom past on her scooter. "Hey sweetie belle, hi Dave, how's it going?" Scootaloo asked cheerfully. "Not too bad, just had a weird night, you?" I answered, and noticed Scootaloo looking down to the ground "it's Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon isn't it, don't worry, Sweetie Belle told me" I stated calmly. Scootaloo nodded. "Come on, lets get you to school, no doubt we'll bump into Applebloom along the way" I grinned, telling them the story of how I discovered Metal music. The fillies giggled, as we walked up to Sweet Apple Acres.

I watched as Applebloom came bounding down the path. I chuckled to myself at the thought of _Applebloom joined your party_.

As we arrived at the school, I could see little ponies looking up at me, and then they started firing questions at me, inane questions, and insane questions. "I wasn't expecting the Spanish inquisition" I grumpily said, I spotted an older pony shouting "come along children, time to start your lessons" as I watched the students file into the classrooms, the teacher walked up to me "hello, sorry about the students," she smiled "you must be Dave, am I right? My name is Cherrylee"

"Pleased to meet you, _Mon Cherri_" I finished with a mock French accent.

She giggled "good with kids and courteous too" she said, looking deep into my eyes.

"I shouldn't really keep Twilight waiting you know, but could you keep an eye on Diamond Tiara and her cohort Silver Spoon for me? I have a feeling they've been bullying the cutie mark three" I asked with a smile. "Of course, I must be off, I have a lesson to teach" she waved to me as she left.

I walked back to the library, head held high with pride. As I opened the door, I could see the six elements of harmony all looking at me, with a hint of worry written across their faces. "Right then, lets get this over with" I proceeded to tell them about last night, with a few gasps, and random questions from Pinkie, I removed the bandana. Twilight shot me a look. "That better not be real" she exclaimed.

"Unfortunately it is, so im keeping it hidden from the other ponies, I have each of the elements now engraved on my body, apart from magic, which I believe could be a focus point," I explained "hurt like a bitch when it happened" I grinned.

After having a cup of tea, we waited for the princess of the sun to arrive.

Before long Fluttershy had given me a look, not of worry, but of distain. "Did you really have to kill that Cockatrice?" she asked.

"I didn't really have any other choice" I stated, looking down.

"I agree" the voice of the sun goddess boomed behind me

"But I'm surprised to see the elements react this way" Celestia continued, it was almost as if she had heard the whole explanation earlier.

"Does this mean I'm stuck here?" I asked, not knowing the full extent of the situation.

She nodded. "Unfortunately yes, however, after receiving several reports on how you went out of your way to help the ponies of ponyville, I hardly see it as a bad thing"

She spoke, not with spite, but new-found respect.

"I see, so twilight has been reporting to you about me then" I smiled.

I glanced at the purple pony, she looked nervous. "Anyway, I shall look into this matter, but for now, I want you to settle down here"

"Its okay your highness" I gave her a small smile.

"Farewell, Dave of Ponyville" she stepped into her chariot, and took off.

"Is she always this confusing?" I asked no-pony in particular


	5. Chapter 4

After taking in the morning air, I decided to take another walk, greeting different  
>ponies on my travels. But I soon stopped dead in my tracks, as if in a trance.<p>

I heard a voice, a voice I recognized and feared. For a moment I just assumed it was  
>my brain playing tricks on me. But then It clicked "hello, human" the voice said with<br>a chuckle "I see your finally in tuned to this world" the voice continued. 

"John De Lancie?" I asked, "What the hell?"

"Who's John De Lancie?" the voice asked,

"Q?" I waited for a response.

"Really now, human, I thought you were better educated than this" the voice spat out in sarcasm. 

"Oh no, not you…" I finally succumbed to a fear which had been nibbling at the  
>corner of my mind for quite a while "Discord" the voice chuckled with glee upon<br>hearing its name. "Discord, at you service sir" the voice mocked.

"Get out of my head," I ordered "or I'll seal you in there myself" I continued, but the  
>voice knew it was an empty threat. "Fair enough, I was going to promise you a place<br>at my side after I take over" the voice seemingly faded.

"If you even think of trying again, I'll make sure you wish for death" I replied to an offering. Snapping out of it, I continued to walk, suddenly hearing Rarity call me.  
>"Heya, rarity" I said with a nervous smile, but the smile was soon switched to a goofy grin "wow, are these my new-"<p>

"Yes, a little gift, for our new guardian" she smiled sweetly as a small blush crept  
>across my face. "I don't know what to say my dear, except thank you" I grinned as I pulled her into a hug. "That's, quite alright dear, just let me put them in a bag for you<br>to carry" I watched as she did this. Picking the bag up by the handle, I gave her another quick hug as a thank you again. 

Stepping out into the sunlight, I couldn't help but smile, _today is still a good day _I thought to myself. I decided to go back to the library; I required more information on discord, seemingly a master of puppets.

I took a glance outside for a moment; the stick I had attempted to levitate earlier was still in the same place. "Twilight, I need your help with something," she looked at me, puzzled. "Could you teach me some magic? I may need it" I watched her face light up with excitement; She suddenly threw a load of books at me, while listing them off. "Twilight, you do realize I can't read equestrian" I deadpanned.

"Oh yeah" she sheepishly uttered, while rubbing the back of her head in thought.

"Hands, er, hooves on approach?" she stated rhetorically, noting my nodding.

"Now try again" she said, with a stressful tone. We had been out there for almost 4 hours now, and I still hadn't managed to lift the branch. "I just can't do it," I glumly stated "I really don't think it's within my abilities, sure, I can fly but…" I stopped for a moment. And took off spontaneously, floating above Twilight. "well, I can fly, lets see what other crazy stuff I can do", I concentrated for a moment, A brilliant beam of light shot from my hands, akin to a Ki blast from some obscure random anime.

It was enough to leave a scorch mark on the ground and set the branch ablaze. "Whoops" I chuckled, stamping on the burning branch. "Looks like levitation is out, and incineration is in!" I chuckled, Twilight just rolled her eyes.

A sudden feeling of déjà vu crept upon me like a bad itch. The voice returned, sounding even smarmier than before. "Are you sure you won't accept my offer?" Discord cackled, but I was in luck, "dude, you're still encased in stone, what makes you think" the Draconequuis interrupted me. "That's just it, Human, the fact that you are here has tipped things in my favour" the disembodied voice retorted.

"So, what? You're gonna free yourself now?" I said to him in a low growl, dripping with sarcasm.

I left a hoof being brought across my face "Snap out of it!" the feminine voice shouted. "Twilight, thank fuck!" I shouted, I spotted the worry on her face. I took a quick glance around. "Why am I on the floor?" I rubbed my cheek "also thank you for snapping me out" I nodded, getting up. I mentioned Discord, and Twilight had started to freak out.

I needed to find a book. As I rummaged through the piles in the library, I heard the ramblings of a very worried twilight. "So if what you've said is true, then why hasn't he tried anything?"

"Just send the message for pete's sakes!" I didn't mean to shout, but time was of the essence. "This is my entire fault," I looked down, "but I suppose there's no way around it now" I felt a hoof plonk down on my shoulder. "You forget you've got the elements of harmony on your side" she smiled. As I pulled her into a hug, I heard a loud belch. "Spike!" we both shouted, "jeez talk about ruining a Kodiak moment" I grumbled, meeting the gaze of a very confused twilight. "It's a human thing, you wouldn't understand" I chuckled once again, but considering the look on Spike's face, I got serious. "What's the message?" I asked, as Spike unravelled the letter.

"I think in Human terms, it would simply be _OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!_" spike exclaimed. "Just read it out loud Spike" I face-palmed.

_Dear Dave _

_From what you have just told me, in all fairness I should really had killed you in the first place, but alas, it is too late to go back on our arrangement. _

_As for the recent, shall we say, turn of events… I am at a loss of what to do._

_If Discord does return, the elements of harmony will have to seal him in stone once again._

_If all else fails, eliminate Discord._

_If discord is either sealed in stone or eliminated, then you will be freed of our agreement and can freely live out your days as a resident of Ponyville._

_Good luck_

_._

_Princess Celestia_

"Well, at least she respects the agreement" I sighed. Twilight sat there, stunned.

"e-eliminate?" she looked at me, stuttering, shivering. "Twilight, I know what I've got to do in order to keep Ponyville…no…Equestria safe" I placed my hands on her shoulders. "If anyone dies, it will be Discord," I looked a little bit puzzled for a moment "couldn't she just banish him to the moon or something?" Twilight shook her head, still shaken by the thought of killing in general. "I am definitely going to regret not doing this sooner" what I did next was probably the most stupid, insane idiotic things I have ever done. But it stopped her shaking. "Wha, wha? Did you just?"

I nodded, with a small blush creeping across my face, betraying my stoic expression.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because you needed to calm down, you were getting worked over killing somebody that you forgot one thing," she looked up at me for a moment. "I'm the one doing the killing," I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath "I've gotten pretty good at hiding my emotions and feelings over the years, becoming cold and stoic whenever I needed to, sort of like a defence mechanism," I pulled her close to me, "it just feels so wrong, ya know?" I continued.

"What do you mean?" she asked, expecting a reasonable, _logical_ answer.

"I suppose I should tell you now" I had begun to explain why I am who I am.

I watched as her facial expressions went through the motions. "It was at that point in my life that I swore I wouldn't let anybody else in, but as you can see my plan didn't exactly work" I laughed half heartedly.

"Well in any case, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, you're the only human here, it's not your fault if you fell in love with a pony," she stated, "but why me? I'm not exactly the best pony; I wouldn't know what to do"

"I could list the reasons if you want, but to be quite honest… I can't really explain it," I took a deep breath. "Its, so wrong… yet so right"

I pulled her closer, noticing a blush turning her face a crimson red.

"But, I highly doubt we should do anything," I sighed "considering what events might occur which could change the situation" she could tell I was worried.

"I don't care," she smiled, as I was about to say something, I was instantly silenced by her returning my kiss, a simple act of unrequited love giving birth to real love.

Spike had re-entered the room "what the?" he sighed, "never mind, im going to see Rarity" as he walked out, you could hear a little smile crawl across the little dragon's face. He was probably wondering how I did it, the little dragon had, from what he told me, tried everything to steal Rarity's heart. I couldn't help feel sorry for the poor guy.

Twilight and I had been sitting on the sofa in a warm embrace, her head resting on my chest, my head resting on hers. For the first time since I got here, I was genuinely happy. "Twilight, do you think I should help Spike with his 'rare' problem?"

She looked at me and gasped for a moment "by rare you mean" I nodded "then yes, I suppose you could" she smiled. She then kissed me on the cheek. She watched the blush and the big grin re-appear.

She suddenly shivered for a moment "you cold?" I asked. She simply nodded. I concentrated a small fraction of the energy I used earlier to start the fireplace.

She levitated the book titled Battle Royal to me. "Lets pick up from where we left off shall we?" I smiled. Eerily it was akin to reading a story to a child in some ways, I would read to her, and she'd ask me questions about what certain objects mentioned in the novel were. "The Okashima island lighthouse was old but durable. It faced north, its tower seventeen meters high…" I continued reading, noticing her smile was as wide as mine. "What's volleyball?" she asked inquisitively.

"I think it's game involving a ball, 2 teams and 2 goals either side of the field, im not quite sure, always sucked at sports," I chuckled, "shall I carry on?"

I noticed she was beginning to yawn.

"Yes please" she smiled. So I continued the story.

As we reached chapter 63, I noticed she had fallen asleep on me.

I wasn't complaining, Why would I?

Celestia would be so pissed off if she found out about this.

I don't care, as long as Twilight's happy, that's good enough for me.

I had finally found my small measure of peace.

I fell asleep shortly after.


	6. Chapter 5

Awaking on another seemingly perfect day in Ponyville, I felt I slight pain in my neck. Thinking back to last night, Twilight had woken me up to talk about her issues some touchy subjects that I knew she would worry about, she must have gone to bed shortly after. I checked my surroundings, the mare had disappeared, In fact, so had Spike. The library was empty. I heard the commotion outside. Quickly grabbing my long coat from the hanger, I threw it on. Running into the middle of the town square, I could here the silent screams of ponies hiding from something. What started as a low rumble became a loud growl. Finally a loud roar was heard in the vicinity of the everfree forest. I took flight, knowing I had to do something, but my power had its limits. After a short flight, I had arrived at the scene of terror. I watched as 6 ponies attempt to hold off a bizarre creature known as a hodag, part frog, part mammoth, and part lizard…all terrifying. I landed next to Twilight, looking her over for any injuries.

"whats the situation guys" I asked.

"well, sugarcube, this beastie here had gotten all angry bout sumthin and we aint quite sure what it is" Appljack replied.

"well, then, looks like we need to calm it down" I nodded to fluttershy, "twilight, Rarity, you hold the Creature in place" I issued an order, upon hering them both acknoledge the idea, I continued "rainbow and applejack, yo two make sure it doesn't struggle that much, but don't attack, and fluttershy?" I looked at her "please, calm down the poor thing" I smiled.

After a few minutes, the beast had ben soothed. "there there, your just a big baby awent you" Fluttershy cooed, the hodag, now sprawled on its back, looking as though it was happy. "well, at least I didn't have to kill the poor thing" I sighed, sitting down amongst the green grass.

"what could make that thing go crazy?" Rainbow asked.

"hmmm, good question" I trailed off, Discords voice ringing in my head about something "three days Human, that's all it will take" the bastard said with a chuckle.

i gritted my teeth. "oh, what's wrong, Dave?" Fluttershy asked.

"just a headache" I had to lie, even though Applejack could tell.

Twilight looked at the others for a moment, asking herself if she should share with them that I hear the voice of Discord in my head. I looked at her, worried that if she does blurt out my little secret, the others wont trust me. "well, I better be off," twilight smiled nervously "those freindship reports don't write themselves you know" the others started to chuckle, "I better go too, need to gather some materials"

Rarity raise an eyebrow at me "what kind of materials?" she asked. I could only mix my words with a non-sequential nervous squeak, which is something I don't normally do. "well, I need some strong steel for some light armor" I sighed, watching the white furred mare break into fits of giggles.

_At least I'm off the hook _I thought to myself.

I decided to walk back, taking in the sights of the everfree forest, which was clear of damnger for a while. Twilight had galloped up to walk beside me, looking at me with a hint of worry "I'll tell them when I'm ready ok Twi?" I said with a small smile across my face, "tell them about dis-" I put a finger on her lips, and shook my head "oh you mean.." she trailed off, I could see her thought process working away, she was still getting used to the idea of being with a human, but in all fairness, I was in the same state. I couldn't help but chuckle, seeing the look on her face as she tried to think of a way to dodge the question when it arises.

After what seemed like a long silence, I moved a few stray strands of hair out of my face. "what say you to some pancakes back at the library?" I asked Twilight, who suddenly blushed a deep crimson red "I thought we agreed to we werent ready for that" she flustered. I looked at her for a moment, and finally caught on to what she was thinking. "love, pancakes isnt a euphemism for…ya know, the horizontal tango," I felt my cheeks heat as a rush of color crept across once more, shaking my head.

"oh," if she blushed anymore, it'd be permanent. "well then, pancakes it is" she said with a giggle. "you ever flown AIR DAVE?" I chuckled, scooping her up into my arms. She feebly protested with fits of giggles. I jumped into the air and began to float harmlessly 3 feet off the floor, then I rose to new hights.

After reaching a good height to see the world, i looked down to Twilight, she had kept her eyes shut. "hey, open your eyes love, look at the world" I watched as she slowly opened her eyes. She was gazing in wide wonder seeing things the way that both me and the pegusi see the world. "i-its beautiful" she said with a whisper, I could see a tear forming in her eye. "heh I know," she looked up and met my gaze, "but I wasn't talking about the view"

I watched as she blushed again. Then she close her eyes, knowing I was heading back down. As we landed on the library balcony, our lips met once again, for longer.

But Discord was still in my head, and he started to speak once more as the kiss broke"oh how sweet," he sounded different, a bit more… twisted. "the Human has got himself a little fillyfriend" I mentally shouted at the creep. Twilight looked at me for a moment, within three fifths of a second, pinkie pie burst through the door, Shouting something about "a real doozy". She pretty much caught us then and there, locked in one of our moments. Letting out a deep sigh, I looked at the mass of pink energy, "Pinkie, can you keep a secret?" the pink puffball nodded excitedly "me and Twilight are…well..." shareing a loving glance with the mare in question "together"

I watched as Pinkie Pie's eyes widened, the grin on her face grew bigger. "okay,"

I blew out a breath I wasn't holding "cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye" the pink mare swore. I couldn't help but chuckle at her antics.

"thanks Pinkie, means a lot," I said with a smile "we'll tell the others when it feels right" Twilight placed her two cents in.

Discord was seemingly pacing up and down in the deepest parts of my mind, he could see the memories of past events, chuckling at my attempt to kill a Cockatrice, gaffawing at my dealings with Celestia and cracking up at my failed telekenisis attempts. However, he was tainted by something. Something dark. It was when he saw the events of a war, it was as though he was searching the internet for all my memories of war, he could see the news articles I had read. Nothing more. The draconequuis had been tainted by so many things. Being a jumbled mess of mammal body parts, it was easy for him to fuse with the rememnants of my nightmares.

He cackled as the nightmares had begun to envelop him in total shadow.

I could feel a shiver crawl up my spine. "now howabout those pancakes" I said, shaking off the fear. Watching as Twilight's face lit up with both a blush from earlier, and happiness. Having slid down the handrail on the stairs, I crashed into a pile of books, hearing a very grumpy dragon complaining. "damn it Dave, I've only just started piling them neatly" I patted Spike on the head as he complained

"no worries dude, I'll help…after Pancakes" I smiled as I walked into the kitchen.

With a flourish, I had made sure every measurement was correct, but theres no way in hell that your getting my recipe!

I stopped for a moment, taking the time to breathe.

The smell of the ingrediants invading my nostrils. I stared work on the pancakes.

A smile plastered on my face. "dude, what are you doing?" the little dragon asked.

"makin pancakes" I said with a little song in my voice.

"dude, you're happy today" he noted the smile. I looked the dragon up and down for a moment. "eh, you know how it is, you stay with somepony for so long and the next thtng you know…i said too much" I laughed, "anyways, after we've put the books away, I'll help you with your Rare jewel" I said with a wink. I watched as his brain kicked into gear, his face contorted in his attempt to figure out what I meant.

"I believe her name is Rarity" I smiled once again, slyly.

After plating up the freshly made pancakes, I pulled a lemon out of my pocket, grabbed a knife and effortlessly cut it in half. Spike and Twilight watched as I squeezed a few drops onto one of my pancakes. "forks, yay!" I said to myself quietly

I grabbed the fork, and started cutting up a pancake. "I've never seen anyone eat like that before" Twilight giggled, watching as I ate. "yeah, its kind of a social norm back on earth, other than being fully clothed of course" I said in between mouthfuls.

After the pancakes had been consumed and the books had been re-shelved, I sata on the sofa. I motioned to Spike to sit with me. which he did.

So, tell me what you like about her" I asked the small dragon. As he ran off a list in his head, I came to a conclusion "well, my suggestion is to just be yourself, ask her out on a date, after all whats the worst that could happen" I said with a thoughtful smile. I felt a pair of forelegs wrap around my shoulders, and a certain pony's head resting near my neck. "heh, hello lover" I said with a coy smile, watching as Spike's jaw dropped, "how else did I land here with this beautiful mare hmm?" I answered the dragon's nonexistant question. He finally got the idea. "alright if you think it will work" he said with a depressive tone, expecting the worst. "dude, if it doesn't work, i'll give myself a black eye" I said with a chuckle, however not the best choice of self-punishment. As he walked out, I looked over to Twilight, who still had that gentle smile and blush permentently on her face. Losing myself in the sea of magneta contained in her eyes. I leaned in to kiss her once more, but fell off the sofa, we were now in a heap on the floor, laughing, but still losing ourselves in that gracious, treacherous sea known as love.

It was nice for a while, until that annoying voice known as Discord started complaining about the smooching. However, his voice was quieter, but still distorted.

Infact it was now more akin to the buzzing of a bee. "two more days and I'm home" Discord said, sounding more sinister than before.

With in the stone prison, his body had been transforming, the magic which had bound him had also sealed a small part of nightmare moon's power. Small fissures and tiny cracks had started to form on the statuesque tomb.

Discord was no longer Discord.

Happiness has always been a fleeting thing, forever escaping my grasp.

Now that I had it, I didn't want to let go.

Spike showed up with a small smile on his face, but tears in his eyes.

"I suppose I better give myself the black eye" just as I raised my fist, the small dragon stopped me. "it's okay Dave, She said yes" the small dragon had a small smile on his face, hiding his joy, still flumoxed that Rarity had said yes. "Spike, what ever you do, don't rush it" I said with a stern look "that's the last thing you wanna do dude" I nodded.

as the little dragon went upstairs to pool his ideas for his date, I was smiling a genuine smile. "that was sweet of you, monkey" Twilight whispered in my ear, making my heart skip a beat. "monkey?" I raised my eyebrows with a smile.

"you're my monkey" She giggled.

I chuckled as I kissed her cheek. "then what shall I call you, _my turtle dove_" again speaking with a mock french accent, hearing her laughter was more than enough. "Love," I smiled, "Love works perfectly".

So, being a hopeless romantic does have its perks after all.


	7. Chapter 6

After what seemed like an eternity of sleep, I awoke to the smell of food being prepared. Groggily opening my eyes, I was met by a haze of purple.

Blinking to remove any telltale signs of sleep, I kissed the purple mare on the forehead before slipping away. Gently walking downstairs, I heard the grumpy ramblings of a small dragon. "morning Spike" I said with a sleepy smile. The dragon turned slowly, expected to see my naked form, "dude, I have clothes on ya know" I chuckled. "today the day?" I asked, observing the grin on spike's face.

The little dragon simply nodded. I smelled the scent of freshly made coffee being poured into a mug. "ah, coffee, one of lifes most simplest of pleasures" I beamed, taking a hearty swig of the black liquid, after swallowing, I blew out steam.

"ya know, I'll never understand your slight obbsession with coffee" the Dragon stated cheekily. "heh, doubt you ever will," I chuckled "before I came here," I started to get a bit solemn, "I didn't sleep much, got a caffiene addiction, and before you ask, yes its possible" I noted the serious expression on Spike's face. "nearly died, so I switched to tea… but nothing beats a morning coffee" I chuckled. Spike looked at me with confusion "you mean, the Caffiene was killing you?" I shooked my head.

"no, I was killing me without realising" I said.

"anyways, shouldn't you be getting ready for something?" I joked, watching as the little dragon started to freak out. "calm down dude" I said between bouts of laughter.

The actions of our tomfoolery awoke Twilight. "hey there sleeping beauty" I said with a smile, Spike ran back into the kitchen to finish breakfast. "Spike, go and get ready, I'll make breakfast"

Quickly making myself useful, I had seen that he was attempting to recreate my waffles. He had gotten the ingrediants and everything else right, but not the presentation, I simply shrugged my shoulders and plated them up, humming a little song to myself while I worked. After hearing the thunderous pitter-patter of dragon feet across the floor, and a chair being pulled back, I walked out of the kitchen, plates in hand. Laying them out on the table, I noticed the tie around Spike's neck.

"interesting choice Spike," I said, indicating the tie, "but wouldn't a red tie be a bit better?" I said between mouthfuls. Twilight looked at me for a moment, not knowning what I meant. "red will bring out the green in your eyes, dude" I grinned.

I stood up, walked over to my longcoat and rumaged through the pockets, pulling out a red tie. "here, catch" I threw the tie to the dragon, where it unintentionally landed on his face. I heard Twilight stifle a giggle. After the waffles had been consumed, I helped Spike with the tie, I dropped down to meet him face to face "now then Spike, remember, don't Rush it, take your time with her, trust me" I fistbumped the little dragon "now, got get her, tiger" I smiled, and with that he was off.

i decided to talk a walk, taking a deep breath of fresh air. I watched as Ponies, as always, went about their day to day lives in happiness.

A happiness you'd never see back on earth. I spotted a turquise Unicorn waving to me, I waved back with a smile and walked over. "hello Dave" the unicorn said with a smile, "I'm Lyra," she held out a hoof, in the hopes of a hoofshake, so I indugled her curisoity. Taking the hoof in my hand, her eyes widened. "Wow, I've never seen a human hand up close before," she had lowered her h ead to inspect my hand "then again, I've never met a human before" she chuckled.

"whats it like?" she asked

"being human?" I replied, shrugging my shoulders "eh, its not all its cracked up to be… I mean sure I've got opposable thumbs and long monkey arms… but, sometimes im fatigued if I do something for so long" I frowned. "and considering how my…um…personal situation has changed… im limited in what me and my partner can actually do, if this was earth, the said act wich I wouldn't mind doing…" I trailed off, blushing furiosly at the thought "would be highly frowned upon" I spoke wit a nervous tone. "uh I don't even know why I told you that," I chuckled sheepishly, "is that nough info for you? Cause seeing as you asked me, I'll ask you, whats it like being a pony?"

she mirrored my shrug "I really don't have a clue, to be perfectly honest," she trailed off, not knowing what to say "its kinda like you being a human, you cant really explain who or what you are" she nodded, "hmm, something to think about" I said to myself. "im off to Sugarcube corner, the hunt for food has begun" I asid majestically, causing the turquise mare to laugh. As I walked off, i could have sworn i saw a grey pegasus fly into a tree. "are you okay, miss?" I asked the grey mare in question. She just shrugged it off "I'm fine, built up a bit if an immunity to head truama" the mare giggled "you going into Sugarcube Corner?" I nodded in reply.

"oh goody maybe we can have a cha.." she focused her eyes onto me, I could see she was concentrating "oh my, you're the thing the Doctor warned me about…no wait that was that other thing, nevermind" her eyes quickly changed back to their usual appearance. As we entered the bakery, my nostrils were invaded by the smell of baked goods, confectionary and the most glorious foodstuff of all. "hello Ditzy doo, the usual?" the proprietor of the shop asked. "oh yes please, mrs cake, oh I was wondering, do you have any of those banana-nut muffins? My little dinky's passed one of those unicorn magicy…examy thingies, and I wanted to get her something special" I watched as the two mares converesed, a smile crept across my face, "Um, miss, could I place my order please? I said with a smile.

The mare behind the counter looked at me for a moment, then smiled. "of course you can dave, what would you like?" I thought for a moment, "I'll just take 8 muffins, and 8 cupcakes please, how much will it be?"

"24 bits, but you are Ponyvilles new Defender, so what the hay, its on the house"

my eyes widened "this is the first time we've met"

"Pinkie Pie's been telling us about all you've done"

"well, I cant just take something for free, so if you need help with anything, I'll be happy to help" I smiled.

"well, if you insist, I'll send Pinkie or my husband to find you if we do" the mare grinined.

After walking out, I decided to just sit and relax, I found a tree to lean against.

Watching the world go by, I felt a eerie sense of gratitude to the Princessess, they could have easily killed me upon our first meeting. But now, looking back, I'm more happier than I was back on earth.

Earth was hell for me, plagued by the four horsemen in different areas of the globe, war in iraq, pestilence in areas with polio or cholera, famine in ethiopia… and death following everybody like a bad itch.

I didn't let that bother me though, I had Twilight to keep me company on the long winter nights and warm summer days. Before her, I had a string of meaningless and fruitless relationships, I was used and abused. But it had been years since the last one. My heart had grown heavy and cold. So cold you could catch frostbite off it. I think that's what brought me here really. The pain and suffering I caused myself would be vanquished by all the happiness that flowed here. It was like painting a perfect picture without all the colours nessessary. But not everything was plain to see, somethings were left unsaid, Twilight would always worry about me dying in the line of duty. Makes me sound like a solider more thatn anyting else. I suppose it was around that time, that I heard the sounds of hooves slowly trotting up towards me "hey there Sugarcube" the shadow said with a smile in its voice, "whatcha doin out here?"

The voice asked, as I slowly peiced the voice and shadow together, "not bad AJ, not bda at all, Cupcake?" I offered, she nodded as I handed one over, "it's a peaceful day, may aswell enjoy it" I motioned her to sit beside me, she plonked herself down in the shade. "ah've been meanin ta ask, is there somethin goin on between you an' Twi?"

She noticed the redness on my cheeks, "who told you? Cause pinkie and Spike were the only ones who…." I shook my head, as the orange mare chuckled away.

"you should see your face," she stopped for a moment, the comment I made had finally registered in her brain "there is somthin goin on, isnt there" I could only nod,

nervously I might add. "I kinda…well…" sratching the back of my head, I was searching for words "it ohkay Sugarcube," AppleJack nodded, "ya don't have to tell me, but be careful Rarity doesn't here about this" she chuckled.

"oh crap" was the only phrase I could muster, I shrugged my shoulders.

"well either way, She's going to find out, Spike finally got a date with her" I laughed,

"he did? How the…. You gave him some advice didn't you" she deadpanned for a moment, but her smile was stuck there. I nodded, pulling out a muffin. "oo, muffin" I cooed. The orange mare could only laugh at the sight of me munching a muffin with pure unadulterated happiness, complete with _om nom_.

"I think I should head back to the library, Still need to finish that book" I struggeld to my feet. After walking in silence Applejack finally asked "so, what's this book about?" i turned round to answer, "it's a survival story, with a lot of psychological elements, basically its kinda like what happened to Luna when she became Nightmare Moon, there was a lot of things going on in her head that caused it"

I heard Applejack make a sound in reply, much like an _ooh I get it_.

I got to the door, and heard two female voices arguing.

"but its not right, im telling you this now, as a friend"

"I still cant believe Spike told you, cant you see that I love him?"

before I opened the door, I took a deep breath, "Applejack, I think you should probably head back, I've got to put a stop to this" I said solemnly. The orange mare simply nodded, and left. Opening the door, I could see books strewn over the floor, Spike cowering under a table and two mares arguing of something stupid. "Ladies, please," I stood in the doorway "stop the arguing, your acting like foals" I said, Spike quickly ran towards me to hid behind my leg "Spike, I assume you told her? I wont be angry if you tell the truth" I said, looking at the small fear-filled dragon, who just nodded, "I'm sorry Dave, rarity just asked me how you were holding up and it kinda slipped out" the little dragon said, with fresh tears rolling down.

"hey, chin up little dragon, accidents happen" I said with a smile, not knowing the two mares watching me. they had stopped arguing. "now Rarity, I know your worried, but don't be," I walked to the sofa, flipping it upright with a grunt, "because I'm stronger than I look," I said with a quiet laugh "and Twilight, I think we made a mistake"

I watched as Twilight flumped down. Rarity was furios, but I simply walked past her, smiling. Kneeling down, I placed my hand on her hoof, "Love, we should have told them sooner, Applejack knows, Pinkie knows, and Now rarity does too, Rarity was just concerned, but can you blame her? I cant, if anything, the fault is mine, nobody else's" I kissed her on the forehead. "Rarity, if it makes it any easier, if I could turn into a pony, I would, hell, I'd give up anything and everything" Rarity heard this, even though it was a quiet murmer. "I'm sorry, Dave" She said, walking over to me "I can see why she loves you though, you're kind, smart and understanding, you hardly raise your voice," she looked at spike who was still trembling slightly, worried that I was angry with him and that I was hiding it "Spike still hasn't realized you arent angry with him" she giggled, "well, I'd best be off, unless you want me to help put things away" I shook my head.

"I cant accept that offer, but Twilight can" I said with a smile, Twilight looked up at me and nodded "see, she does want your help, and I brought muffins and cupcakes, courtesy of mrs cake" I smiled.

I stood at the balcony, taking adeep breath. A foul wind was blowing that night, Twilight sat beside me, looking intently trying to see what I was thinking. "er, Twilight, love… what are you doing?" I said upon noticing her staring intently.

"its Discord isnt it, is he speaking to you again?" she asked.

"well, no… I havent heard from him since yesterday"

"what did he say?"

"two more days, send Celestia a letter, tell her about us, and about The new development"

"okay, monkey" she smiled, with a slightly worreid expression on her face.

After watching the green flame go across the night sky, i could only hope that it would arrive in time.


	8. Chapter 7

The Statue was under heavy watch from the castle guard. The fissures on the stone prison let out small streams of dark enrgy. With every passing hour, Discord's transformation was nearing its mometic end.

The chill I felt on the library balcony could mean one thing… a storm was coming.

Spike had woken up with a mighty burp, shooting out a letter.

i pulled the bed covers off me, stepping out from the ageless vastness of sleep.

I looked back to see Twiligh snoozing away, she looked so peaceful there. I crept across the room, towards the door. Getting to the door, I placed my hand on the handrail, slowly walking down the stairs. However, these things don't always go as planned, my foot slipped, and I crashed to the floor, sliding down the steps on my arse. Spike watched this happen, I looked at the little dragon, who was desparately trying to hold back fits of laughter. "now really, Dave," I heard Twilight stifle a luagh of her own, "that looked painful" she buirst into fits of giggles.

"only my pride," I joined the merryment. "so, spike, whats the letter say?"

"dear Twilight and Dave…." The dragon went quiet.

"not good?" I asked the dragon, who shook his head.

"just read it out loud Spike" I looked in his eyes, I could see his fear.

_Dear Twilight and Dave_

_As happy as I am to hear you've finally settled in, I'm afraid we have some incredibaly bad news._

_Gather the other elements and meet at the library in 20 minutes, Luna and myself shall be waiting._

_Princess Celestia & Princess Luna_

"that does not sound good" Twilight looked at me, and then turned to Spike.

"Spike, go get the others" Spike nodded and headed off.

"Dave, go get yourself washed, no time for breakfast" I nodded in agreement.

Quickly making my way into the bathroom, I stepped in the shower, washing myself of the sweat. Stepping out, I felt like a new man, unlike most days, I wouldn't laze around. Putting on some new clothes, which would probably end up in tatters anyway, I walked back down stairs. The ever present sense of danger had shown itself once again. I noticed Pinkie was still twitching, complaining about a real doozy.

"hey everyone," I spoke, leaning over the handrail. "you're probably wondering why you're here, simple"

I took a deep breath. "seeing as Flutershy and Rainbow Dash are the only ones who don't know" Twilight sat beside me, "we're…well…." I went red in the face

"we're in love" Twilight saved me from embarassing myself. I watched as Fluttershy smiled with delight, and rainbow dash flew over and patted me on the back.

"and now for the other reason," I sighed. "Discord is returning"

I heard a chariot pull up outside. I turned to face the alicorn sisters.

"indeed, we must make haste," Celestia spoke, looking directly at me.

"no Princess, if anything, Discord has been targeting me," I looked at her dead in the eye "I'm the one who inadvertedly made his escape possible by being here, so I should be the one to fix it" I stood there defiantly.

The princess gazed at me for a while, not knowing whether to argue or to agree.

Luna being ever insightful thought of something "if you are truly intent on fixing this proble, how are you going to fix it?" the mare of the night asked.

"truth betold your highness, I havent thought that far ahead yet, i believe that sometimes the best plan is one which doesn't exist" I concluded. Feeling proud with that answer, I smiled as Twilight nuzzled her former tutor "see, now that's something I could never replace, Princess Celestia" I said with a smile, she looked at me with slight confusion. "you're like a second mother to her in a sense, its not surprising that you have so much faith in her" I was interrupted

"if your trying to appeal to my better judgement, just stop" Celestia spoke harshly

"Everyone, I wish to speak to Celestia alone please" I couldn't hold back that question anymore. I had to know, I picked out the same book I found at the start of what seemed like a grand adventure. I searched the pages and found what I was looking for. Everyone had left to talk outside; I looked in the white alicorn's eyes.

"You owe me an explanation," I spoke with a whisper, I placed the book in front of her, "explain to me what exactly happened that day" I indicated to the human in the book. She let out a deep sigh. "Listen to me Dave; you were better off not knowing"

she took a deep breath, and told me the tale.

_It was in the beginning of the modern era of equestria, our mother and father were the deities of the moon and sun… the human in question was a young man named Lysander, his original purpose was to help the people of Equestria protect themselves against the unknown evils that lurked in the shadows. Lysander was a tall man who was chosen by the elements of harmony as a protector, much like you are Dave, but it came with a price. He went mad with power and corrupted the gifts that the elements had imbued upon him. Our parents decided it best to seal him instone, before he began an irriversable transformation. Lysander died that day._

_Discord was born._

I stood back for a moment, taking it all in. the information, and the bitter sting of the Princess's tears. "I had no idea, is that why you're so cautious of me?" I asked, the Princess nodded, I handed her a tissue. "Dry your eyes," I said with a genuine smile "at least I know now that im not the original source of your pain" she looked at me for a moment. "Dave, I…thank you" were all she could muster. "I think we had better get going" she siad to me, "gather the others once again, we leave immidiatly" I coherantly nodded. I walked down, and opened the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water.

"right, lets get going" I walked out the door, nodding to Twilight, who followed suit, the rest caught on. We arrived at the golden chariot, hopping onto it, I decided it best to fly there. After all, when you've been imbued with the gifts of harmony, why not use them.

Flying through the air, I took a good look at the world around me. I could see different areas of the landscape, ponies ploughing, ponies playing and ponies lazing about like nothings happening. Soon their peace will come tumbling down.

Their world would be set ablaze, by a simple demonic spirit being released into the world. There would be one thing standing in his way.

I flew for a while before mastching the speed of the chariot, landing next to Twilihgt, I plonked myself down. Waiting for the chariot's turbulence to ease itself out, I gave a big smile. "hey love, did ya miss me?" I said with a goofy grin on my face, my windswept hair billowing out. I leaned in for a kiss, but ended up on my face as the chariot shifted to the side. I pulled myself up, looking around, I saw the Castle of Canterlot in getting nearer. It was truly a sight to behold, my mind was racing for a moment. "wow" was the only word I could muster, Twilight looked up at me to laugh, but then noticed I was still gazing in wonder. "you've never seen a castle up close before?" I nodded at her question.

"ya know, there arent many castles left on earth, they've either fallen to ruins or have just been eroded away, faded in time" a poingant thought, was shared.

"so who rules earth now?" Celestia asked. I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to think of a good answer. "truth is, there hasn't been a ruler of earth for a few centuries, now the countries have governments, each with a blithering idiot for a leader" coming to that conclusion was easy really. "the peoples of Equestria are quite lucky"

I summed up my thoughts.

As we landed in the courtyard, I could only watch as other members of the guard took a defensive position. "At ease," Celestia ordered them to stand down, which the reluctantly did, Luna explained to them the situation.

I took a look around the courtyard, and sure enough there he was, encased in a stone prison. The cracks were slowly getting bigger, the black steam rising around it.

"Princess, is it all right if I have a look around the castle?" being ever inquisitive, the question fell on deaf ears. "Leuitenant, whats the situation?" Celestia asked.

"the Statue of Discord has been giving off dark energy, some of the gaurds wish to surround the statue with enough magic to surpress it, but I highly doubt it will work"

"no it won't" I stood closer to the statue, taking a good look at the dark energy.

"Nightmare," I muttered to myself.

The two alicorn sisters were suddenly beside me, a worried expression on both their faces "nightmare? But how?"

"simple, he was in my head for a few days, must have rooted around, found something he shouldn't have" I said, with a stoic expression on my face.

Suddenly a growl was heard, and I watched as the gaurds took up another defensive position. "hey, it was just me, didn't eat anything".

As we walked through the halls of the Castle, I began to notice the different paintings, the intracate details on the walls. I sighed glumly as we walked into a grand dining hall.

"yay, food" I said nonchalantly, attempting to smile. As I sat down at the table, or rather, knelt in a samurai style position, I simply asked for some green tea. "thank you," i said with a fading smile, the others could see I was worried about something.

I watched as the two Princesses conversed, trying to come up with a solution to the Discord problem. It was to be expected that upon his arrival, chaos would soon rise again. "Dave," Luna called to me as I took a sip of fresh green tea. "seeing as Celestia has already told you what became of the first human, we must ask you, why?"

"why what?"

"why do you want to do this for us?" she stated her true question. I relaxed a little bit.

"because, my kind has made it a point to stand up and fight, even if we die" I smiled, taking another sip. A bowl of porridge was placed in front of me, the sweetened smell invading my nostrils, picking up a spoonful, I took a mouthful. "not bad, still not as good as Redheart's though" I said with a smile.

"the reason I ask is, well…" Luna tried to carry on her series of questions, but I raised my hand to stop her. "No need to worry, If I die, Twilight would never forgive me" I glared into the bowl of porridge, taking another mouthful. "it's amazing how things can change so quickly, but stranger things have happened" I nodded.

as everyone sat down, I got up to look out the window, forever keeping a watch on Discord. The cracks were getting bigger, the fissures were getting wider. I had the feeling of dread creeping up on me. I felt a hoof on my shoulder. "it'll be fine, I'm sure we'll be able to stop him in time" I turned to see twilight, the light from the sun, bouncing off her streaked mane, silently dancing in her eyes. "I hope so," I pulled her closer, "I really do" as kissed her, I heard a multitude of cooing, it seemed that they could feel the love emenating in the room. It was slightly embarrassing, but worth it.

Breaking the embrace, I felt the ground rumble, turning my gaze outside towards the statue. The Transformation was almost complete. "everyone, outside" I shouted.

We ran towards the courtyard. The final cracks had spread quickly, the shell had been broken. "ahhhh, perfect" I heard a distorted voice creep from the statue.

It was time.


	9. Chapter 8

I could see the fear in Twilights eyes as the nightmarish form that Discord had taken freed itself. "Ahhhhh, that's better, I think Discord is a stupid name for someone such as me," the newly reformed nightmare-possessed discord cackled "I think a new name is in order"

I watched as the nightmare had reshaped the being formerly known as discord into a more, humanoid shape...

Fear gripped me for the first time since my arrival in equestria. The beast had become reality.

It sat opposite me, its claws, razor sharp, and its fangs glistening in the sun. It opened its mouth to speak, it rose from its throne, towering over me by a foot.

"I am chaos, perfect chaos, nightmare chaos... People of Equestria! I stand before YOU, Chosen by destiny by the powers of NIGHTMARE! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as the HUMAN himself bears witness to it. Now. I, SLANEESH, am Master of the Universe! YES! Yes... I feel it, the power... fills me. Yes, I feel the universe within me! I am... I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows... Flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! The universe is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! and I am that force! I am that power! ! I am more than the princesses! MORE THAN LIFE! I... am... a... GOD"

I glared into its eyes, but the false god grabbed me by the neck and threw me through a building.

"that's going to be sore in the morning" I grumbled, picking myself up. I flew up to a better vantage point, then zoomed towards the demon with one foot forward. the beast grabbed my foot, and swung me around like a baseball bat, knocking the ponies that were also using a varied attack strategy.

Applejack was constantly bucking the beast, while rainbow flew over its head, attempting to kick it in the head. fluttershy fell back to deal with any injuries the group had sustained.

in the end it was all in vain, as Slaneesh started its chaotic corruption.

the dark ooze darted towards me, then everything was a blur. I found myself destroying canterlot, I had no control.

My bestial form had taken root into my own slice of darkness, bringing my fists down onto a nearby factory. Killing countless, helpless ponies in the process. Picking up a piece of rubble, I roared. I threw the rubble into the castle, taking down several guards-ponies. Canterlot was on its way to become a slaughterhouse. The chaos that had consumed me, had began to corrupt the very ground beneath me, I could hear the cackles of Slaneesh in my mind. "You know, this is fun" the beast cackled like a witch "watching you do all the work" the beast formed outside my mind's prison. I could only grit my teeth. "But now you must kill your new friends" he spoke with malice.

I could see the tears in Twilights eyes,

I was disfigured, transformed, corrupted by the nightmarish form that Discord had taken. My arms had become freakishly large; my fangs were as sharp as celestia's horn. My legs were bent, misshapen. My mind was screaming out for help.

My body started to swing violently at them, roaring as it launched a few rocks at them. I felt helpless until I heard the scream. Twilight was screaming my name.

I had to fight for control. My mind was weakened severely, but that wouldn't stop me. All strength that I had left was devoted to one thing, getting full control over my body. I broke the cage, re-organizing myself.

It only took seconds, but it felt like hours, maybe even days.

I could only grasp what felt like a steel rod. I proceeded to fight myself.

With a flush of rage, I had beaten it into submission, but that didn't work. It only made my body lash out more. In the end I realized what had to be done.

I hugged it, coming to terms that I couldn't go home, that I couldn't live a normal life.

The feral version of me had taken itself to hiding within the darkest corners of my mind once more.

I finally regained control of my body.

The six ponies looked on in fear as I started to shamble towards them, my eyes bloodshot red, tears brimming, I attempted to beg for death, but I could make no sound other than screeches of pain.

I gave up, and then had an idea, considering I taught Twilight how to read English when I wasn't around, I wrote a message "help me"

the same message I gave Zecora when we first met.

"kill me" seemed more appropriate to be frank. But never the less, they used the elements of harmony.

after the chaos that had consumed me left my body, I felt a new power envelop me, like a new drug, it worked its way into my blood stream, filling me with justifiable rage.

"did I do all this?" I asked Twilight, who nodded, tears still running down her cheeks.

"how do you feel?" the purple furred mare asked me. I didn't say anything, just checked my self over.

She repeated the question, this time I answered "I'll tell you later" I said with a smile, cracking my knuckles.

Not seeing hide nor head of the newly formed chaos god, I looked around, I heard the snarky voice, "it seems that you've run out of luck, Human," I could see the bastard standing there with 4 elements lying around him, severely injured. Something in me screamed the word _kill_, over and over.

"You condescending, sadistic, callus MOTHERFUCKER!" I roared at the top of my voice, so loud, it could deafen celestia herself. my eyes now white with rage, blood seeping through my clenched fists.

the bastard had started monoluging, it was like he was following a super villain handbook.

"ha, which reminds me, how many humans does it take to"

I cut him off with a rage fuelled punch to the jaw, shattering his bones. "just one" I chuckled darkly.

he had dropped Twilight's unconscious form. I called Ditzy doo and Mac, told them to get the injured to safety.

blood still dripping down my hands. "but what about you?" the grey Pegasus asked, worried about my safety.

"I Don't matter anymore, I'm expendable" I looked down to meet the Pegasus's gaze, "if I survive this, I'll get you a muffin" I smiled. the beast had stood up once again. "now, run, run for your life" the grey mare hovered for a moment, processing my words, which seemingly sounded similar to someone she loved so long ago, she took off with big Mac in tow.

"human, you've got a lot of nerve, getting me monologing"

"you've got a lot of guts," I grinned, but it was a different grin. "let's see what they look like"

I cackled like a madman. but was abruptly stopped by celestia and Luna swooping in. "Dave, you've done enough" Celestia glared at me,

"But this is my duty" I argued

"No, your dealing with a God now, the duty befalls to us"

Slaneesh was getting bored of us bickering about whose duty it was. "how boring," he then shot a huge blast of dark energy at celestia "the prissy princess has come to save the day, oh how droll" I moved quickly, taking a bullet.

"Celestia, if anything happened to you, Twilight would never forgive me" I collapsed to the floor.

"I suggest you get out of here, both of you, the elements need you" I said with such sincerity, it actually made the stubborn princess listen. "just tell Twilight I love her" I whispered, scrambling to my feet in a feeble attempt to rise up in the occasion.

Celestia's opinion of the human race had changed that very day. no longer did she look at me with contempt. the wind blew, my long hair swept in the wind. the cuts and bruises long forgotten had become scars.

the adrenaline rushing through my body had given me an edge over the demon. I was the last thing, the only thing standing between Slannesh and total godhood.

"Dave..." Luna looked at me, pleading that I join them, I shook my head.

"this," I raised my bloodied hands "this is the blood of a singe human, burning with the lives of thousands,"

I took a deep breath "im not doing this for you, or for me," my eyes were glowing once again, "but im doing this for all existence, Slaneesh must be stopped..." I felt a new resolve. "no matter the cost" I nodded.

I walked through the chaos and corruption, the rubble gently rolling down. the two sisters flew to find the others. I finally stopped walking. Slaneesh was sitting there on his metaphysical throne.

"Slaneesh, Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me" I smirked. the demon shot me a glance, then picked up a small filly, one I recognized. it was applebloom,

the bastard had her in an icy grip. "let them go" I ordered the beast "they are children, you wouldn't want their blood on your hands would you?" I could hear a faint snap, the filly's seemingly lifeless body dropped to the floor. She was still breathing, thank the gods. the demon had just sealed its fate.

I stood directly in front of him, nose to nose "I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!" I roared. not noticing the sudden power surge rushing through my body. my hands started to glow eerily, the energy pulsated within my palms, forming concentrated power. I shot my hands forth, firing the same energy, striking the demonic being with enough force to level an entire city. my hair had stood on end, slowly changing its colour to a dramatic black.

"what the hay!" Slaneesh shouted. the being didn't expect that kind of destructive power, nor did I.

"you honestly mean to tell me that you are strong enough to equal my abilities" the beast exclaimed.

I started to laugh, as slaneesh started to back away.

"turns out, insanity is infectious" I chuckled as I launched another wave, but I quickly had to stop since he threw Sweetie Belle at me. jumping forwards, I caught the kid in my arms. "Sweetie Belle, go get Celestia, tell her Applebloom is hurt, but do not tell Applejack, it will break her if you do" the filly nodded.

"why do you persist on fighting, what are you fighting for?" Slaneesh asked me, clutching its chest wound in a moment of clarity.

"well... What I'm fighting for? That's just ridiculous. I don't need a reason to fight. I have and am going to fight just to keep the peace!" I replied, not noticing the demon speeding towards me.

it was too late for me, I felt claws dig into my chest in a feeble attempt to rip out my heart.

My life flashed before my eyes, the seedless voices in my head screaming for retribution. I tried to get to my feet, weakened by my injuries. with one knee to the ground, I had gotten myself into a stance to hold my ground. I gave myself a choice, live free or die hard. "you know, Dave," Slaneesh finally used my name "all things considered, you're enjoying this aren't you" the beast and I both chuckled.

I coughed up blood and bile. "Yeah. That's right. I can take anything you can dish ou-oh God there go my organs" I collapsed into a pool of blood.

as the cackling form of Slaneesh disappeared, I could hear the hooves and cries of my lover, begging me to stay alive.

"Twilight, please" Celestia, clearly showing tears in her eyes, motioned for the mare to move out of the way.

"Princess," I coughed "I'm sorry, I failed"

"no you haven't, you've exceeded my expectations" the white alicorn said with a worried smile.

"I need a heal, got to stop Slaneesh, before it's too late" Twilight's eyes widened with worry, tears streaming down her cheeks. "you're on deaths door!" she screamed at me, she could clearly see I was in a lot of pain "do you honestly think you can beat him?"

I shook my head. "not alone, I need the elements" I brought a hand to her chin "and more importantly, you" I said with such clarity. "when the beast is destroyed, I will return to you" Celestia watched as I kissed her, as lovers do.

I felt a wave of energy flow through me, healing broken bones, sealing open wounds. the wounds quickly scarred over, leaving streaks of blood running down my now tattered shirt. taking off the mjolner pendant hanging around my neck, I put it around hers "I need the power of the elements infused within me" I placed the necklace around her neck, watching her blush. "I promise, I'll come back, in some form or other" I stood up.

Celestia slid something towards me, "you'll need it" I looked at the object for a moment.

my hands wrapped perfectly around the hilt, drawing the newly acquired blade from its scabbard. I stabbed the blade into the ground and kneeled before the sisters "what are you doing?" Luna asked me.

"there's a tradition back on earth, when given a sword to use in combat by royalty, one has to kneel in wait of a blessing" I bent the truth.

"an odd custom, very well, thou hast the blessing of the moon" the moon princess's horn glowed as the moonstone within the blade's hilt glowed in an eerie fashion. "and the blessing of the sun" Celestia's horn also glowed, the blade of the sword had shone brighter than a thousand suns for a moment, then a blaze of heat could be seen rising off its razor sharp edge.

"thank you your majesties, I shall not let you down" I put the sword back in its scabbard.

Twilight held me in an embrace for a long while "I don't care what the others think, monkey, I want you to come home safe"

she kissed me, "I promise I will, even if I have to drag Slaneesh's carcass all the way back" we shared a lasting kiss, but we were interrupted by ponies clearing their throats. we sheepishly grinned. "well, time to get serious" I said as I walked off into the the bizarre chaotic sunset.


	10. Chapter 9

As I walked through the new ruins of Canterlot, it has begun to rain, seemingly normal at first, but it then became Chocolate. "Talk about childish, Slaneesh" I huffed, pulling my sword out of the scabbard, watching as the blade glowed with a dim shine. I could make out the silhouette of Slaneesh making its way towards me, with an evil grin on its face, my blood dried on its claws.

"You know, I was taught a long time ago to stand up and fight" I looked at the beast dead in the eyes. "You've become disorganized, Slaneesh, now its time to end this"

I stood my ground in an offensive position. Having learned a thing or two about how to use a blade, I held the sword in a tai chi sort of pose. Remembering what a friend told me _the sword is an extension of oneself, _I stood my ground as Slaneesh quickly took the offensive; I was blocking hits and dodging chaotic energy waves. With this attack pattern I calculated a plan, simply observing his movements until the right moment.

I lunged forwards, catching Slaneesh off guard, a hit. I caught him in the chest, but was nowhere near his heart. I struck again, another hit, he took it in the arm, putting up his defences in a last ditch effort. The third strike was deflected by a fist to the face. I recoiled back to my original position. Thinking it through, and because he was now the personification of chaos, it would be harder to go on the offensive like I had done before. "Come on, what are you waiting for?" I was goading the demon into attacking me; it worked because he snaked around behind me. Using the sword as a mirror, I then brought the sword round in a tornado motion, cutting off the beast's tail.

The beast roared in agony, a perfect strike. I used this to my advantage, I lunged forwards, blade extended in front of me, but Slaneesh was smart, he picked up his dismembered tail and struck me with it, sending me into a wall, my sword dropped to the floor beside me. "Fuck this," I stood up, cracked my knuckles "I've been holding back, all this time I've been here I've been holding back" I knelt down, eyes locked onto the beast. I picked up my sword, placing it back into its scabbard.

Slaneesh stood in front of me, puzzled by my actions "and the princesses think they've got problems," I rolled my eyes, walking towards the beast, who stood there ever confused. "I feel like I live in a world made of _cardboard_. _Always_ taking care not to break something, to break some_one_" I punched him through a wall,

"_Never_ allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die" picked him up by the throat. "But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to _cut loose_, and show you _**just how powerful I really am**_" I pulled back my fist, and heard the crack of thunder and bones as my fist collided with his ribcage. Slaneesh went flying into the air, landing in a heap of debris. I watched as he pushed rubble off himself, and glared at me, then sped towards me in anger, "I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE" he roared. I quickly drew my sword in defense, bringing the flat side down on his skull. The collision had caused a small shockwave, rippling through the leaves, kicking up dust. The power emitted from the shockwave had rippled up through my arm, sending a sharp pain through my body. I collapsed onto one knee, I stabbed my sword into the ground for leverage, pushing my self up.

I suddenly felt myself being lifted into the air, I had one of Slaneesh's palms on my chest and the other hand was wrapped around my leg. He then proceeded to throw me, but I was smart. Using my elemental powers, I used the momentum of the throw to fly in an arc, landing behind him. I then stabbed him in the back,literally. He swung round, claws at the ready. He brought a set of claws slashing down across my face, just close enough to leave a small scratch. I tripped him over, hacking off the offending arm in the proccess. He proceeded to pick up his arm and beat me with it.

I kept my distance, in the end he threw dark energy at me once again, I deflected it, and noticed him charging towards me. "whats the one rule of combat," I said, readying myself to defend agaist an attack that fatally wounded me previously. I brought my sword up in a firey blaze. The heat from the blade cauterizing the wound.

His hand fell to the ground behind me. I was stood a few meters behind him, I turned around. "look around you, Dave, you're still on your own" Slaneesh cackled, but he was wrong. "why are you laughing?" he asked. I shrugged my shoulders, still laughing at his statement. "an element of harmony is never alone," I stated, as the crystal embedded in my forehead started to glow. What came next shocked even me.

I floated in mid air for what seemed like 10 minutes, slowly being revitalized by the elements. Stranger still, was the energy circling around me, creating golden armour.

I felt stronger once again, no longer fatigued. I landed on the floor, within a dust cloud. "you claim to be a god?" I asked rhetorically. I drew my sword, which felt lighter. I attempted to fly, but quickly found myself still bound to the ground. Slaneesh once again started to cackle. I picked up a small rock, aiming for his head. I threw it, gaining a less than perfect shot. It bounced off his chin, shutting him up.

He walked up to me, staring into my eyes. "you know chaos cant be stopped" before he could say anything elese, I grabbed him by the arm, yanked it out of its socket brought my fist up into his elbow, and snapped his wrist.

"the thing about chaos? It's easily organized," I chuckled darkly.

"Discord, no….Lysander," The beast's eyes widened, "Celestia forgave you years ago, so has Luna… you cost them their parents, yet they forgave you" something inside the beast had stirred. The name of the seemingly deceased human, caused the beast unimaginable pain, "Lysander is dead!" Slaneesh roared. "only Slaneesh remains!" he continued, smacking my leg with his foot, tripping me over, he then attempted to cave in my ribcage. I rolled to avoid it. Scrambling to my feet, I threw my sword above him, jumped up and caught it, slicing his back. The blood trickling down his back gave off a pungent smell, the smell of a rotting corpse. "how, your now a normal human again" Slaneesh exclaimed in pain.

"nothin normal about me, never was." I ran forwards, "now do me a favour and die already"I stated, staring into Slaneesh's eyes. I brought my knee up, connecting it with the beast's chin. "you know, for an immortal, you sure do break easily" I laughed. "also," I plunged my sword in his heart, then drew it out, twisting while I did it, watching the beast squirm in agony. "for the coupe de grace" I swung my sword level with his neck. "I win, fatality" I muttered, picking up his head.

the armour which had surrounded me had disipated, leaving me in tattered jeans, bloodied boots and covered in blood, cuts and bruises. I walked along the hard track back to the others. The chaos had been stopped. The world slowly began to return to its former glory.

As I walked, I noticed the survivors were coming out of their hiding places. Greeting me with smiles, I even nnoticed some of the gaurdsponies were a tad roughed up, but still alive. Two of them rushed to my side, to make sure I wouldn't fall. I was tired.

"Sir, are you okay? Do you require any assistance?" I looked down at the guard with a smile. "no I'm fine, but thanks for the offer, I must apologize for the destruction I have caused though" the guard returned the smile. A thoughtful look spread across his face. "you need not bother Sir, it wasn't your fault" I was gobsmacked. Finally reaching the clearing, I threw the head of my enemy into the middle of the camp.

"Job done" I chuckled, the dried blood smeared across my face glistened in the newly risen moon. "I must say, I was expecting you both to die" Celestia spoke,

"if there's one thing I've learnt over the years, its that you cant have everything" I nodded, I noticed the lake. "excuse me princess" I walked over to wash off the blood, dipping the sword into it to clean the blade. "that's better".

I heard one of the gaurds whisper into her ear, basically filling her in on what transpired. "Luna, come here" she called for her sister, "private lance, tell her what you told me" he whispered in Luna's ear. I wached as her eyes widened in shock.

As I spotted the tents pitched up, I limped forth, and perched myself infront of the fire. The fire warmed my body, I then noticed the stinging sensations, my wounds werent bad, but they were sure as hell annoying.

"what do you reckon we should do, Tia" Luna whispered to her sister.

Celestia was worried that, in the recent events which had transpired.

The battle had left half of Canterlot in ruin.

"I think I know" Celestia trotted back towards me. she sat down next to me, and placed a wing on my back. "you've been through hell for us, and for that I thank you"

I felt a hoof on my shoulder. "does this mean we're on good terms now?" I asked, a tear slowly forming. "yes it does, as soon as everything is back to normal, I will send a letter forth, requesting your presence at the castle, Dave,"

"thank you," I picked up the longcoat I left behind, and put it on. "does this mean our new arangement is fulfilled?" I asked, the princess simply nodded.

"I must apologize for the harsh treatment I gave you upon our first meeting" she said, but I brushed it off. "no apology nessesary" I smiled.

"I'm just glad it's over," I heard a small voice, and whispers.

"how is Applebloom?" I asked the princess, she looked despondant for a moment.

"Applejack is with her, She's alive, but," I raised my hand, placing it on her cheek.

"which tent?"

"third one on the left" she indicated.

I pulled the tent door to oneside and quietly stepped in.

I placed a hand on Applejack's shoulder, and the other on Big Mac's.

"I'm so sorry" they didn't even move, I knelt down.

"how is she doing?" I asked. Not expecting an answer.

"She's gonna be fine, no broken bones or nothing" Applejack answered.

"who checked her over?" I asked.

"Nurse Redheart" hearing her name, I was releieved.

"I'm gonna Check on the others" I walked out.

I was suddenly tackled to the ground, by a pink ball of energy. "!" Pinkie rambled on and on.

"as much as I share your enthusiams at me being alive," I chuckled "I'd like to see the others" the pink puff balls eyes widened.

"sure, follow me" she bounced along to the other tents.

"pinkie, wait here please" I smiled

"okei dokie lokie" she rambled on with a smile.

I moved the tent door to the side, to see Fluttershy and Rainbow comforting Twilight.

Turning back around to leave, I was face to face with a very worried Rarity. "my dear, Nurse Redheart wants to patch you up" she then levitated a black t-shirt, placing it in my hand. "put this on afterwards" she then hugged me.

I walked up up to Redheart, who took one look at me, "you sure know how to put a Nurse through her paces don't ya" she giggled.

"careful, some of them are still a bit tender" I joked.

I turned to watch Rainbow and Fluttershy leave the tent, I put my finger to my lips as they saw me. the two pegusi promptly flew over, "what the hell are you thinking?" Rainbow asked me, she was stressed out, I could see it. "She's just gone to sleep" Fluttershy continued. "Twilight's been worrying about you," I sighed when I heard this "when the fighting died down, she thought that…you…." I placed my hand on Fluttershy's head "could have been, but im not" I said with a smile.

I put the t-shirt on. Wincing a little as I pulled it over the bandages.

"now im incredibly tired, so if you don't mind" I stood up, picked up the longcoat and walked into the tent quietly.

Twilight looked so peaceful, but she also looked cold. I did what a any gentleman should do, I laid my longcoat over her, then laid down opposite her.

I could hear her whimpering in her sleep. "gimme back my monkey"

I coulnt help but chuckle a little bit, before finally succumbing to the deep recesses of sleep, I leant forward and kissed her on the nose

.

Finally resting my eyelids, I fell into a deep slumber.


	11. Chapter 10

I awoke with a slight pain in my lower back. Then I remembered I still had the scabbard on my side, the belt was constricting me slowly. Undoing the belt, the scabbard hit the ground with a soft thud. i picked up the sword, and laid it beside the door of the tent. Looking back into the tent, i noticed that Twilight was still sleeping, I simply smiled. I walked out to see the two Princesses standing around the head of Slaneesh. "Discord deserved better, your majesties," they turned to look at me, they were smiling, although Celestia still had a few tears to shed. "if you'll allow it, I wish to give him a proper burial," I smiled "after all, I may not live for the fight, but that was the best I've had" I chuckled. I watched as a shovel materialized in front of me.

Grabbing the shovel handle, I walked over to a nice secluded spot and started digging.

After about an hour, I picked up the disembodied head and placed it into the hole.

After burying the head, I walked back, shovel in hand. "now that the jobs done" I muttered to myself, I glanced over to where the fire was, the 8 ponies all sitting around telling jokes to make light of an already solved problem. I sat down next to Applejack, "who wants to hear about the fight?" I asked with a cheery sort of tone in my voice, Rainbow Dash looked at me with wide eyes, after watching 8 heads bob up and down in agreement, I filled them in on every little detail.

"that must have hurt," Redheart said, the air of worry carried over to the two sisters "but I can see why you did it" the nurse continued, I then told them about a bad pun I attempted to make at the recently deceased's expense. Everyone laughed.

"What's all this laughing about?" a tired voice called out from the tent.

a dishevelled Twilight stepped out into the light, taking in the sight of a world returned to normal. I craned my head round to look, "hello love" I said with a smile.

"MONKEY!" She shreiked, how she came to that petname, I'll never know.

i suddenly found myself underneath a very happy, teary-eyed Twilight Sparkle.

I placed my hand on her cheek, "it good to see you too" I said with a cheeky grin, bringing her forehead to mine, I leant upwards to kiss her.

She returned the favour. Of course nopony wanted to interupt this lovely scene, but it had to be done. "uh Twi? Would ya mind getting off of Dave for a moment, I have a feeling the princesses want to talk to him" I heard a few chuckles. As she moved over to let me up, I winced a little bit. "Now then, all of you, we are heading back to ponyville" Celestia announced, looking at me for a moment. I suddenly dashed into the tent, and grabbed the sword.

"Dave, will you be flying?" the princess asked, I shook my head, looking a little annoyed. "nevermind then, hop in" the princess indicated the chariot door was open. All 9 of us clambered up the steps into the chariot. I sat down next to Twilight with a large grin on my face. "I suppose the rest of ponyville will want to know about what happened" Twilight said to the princesses, who simply nodded. I watched the clouds go by, happily humming a song which had made its way into my head. "Dave? Whats that song your humming?" Rarity asked with a smile. I looked at her for a moment, a smile slowly making its way back onto my face. "i cant really remember the name of it," she looked at me for a moment. "kinda crept its way into my head as I fought Slaneesh,"

her eyes widened as the others gazed at me. "does it have lyrics? Could you sing them for us?" Twilight asked. I scrathed my head for a moment. Finally nodding

for you, love? Anything" I smiled, I let out a slightly mournful melody.

Twilight looked at me, as I went a deep shade of red. "that was….just…" she couldn't think of anything. For once she couldn't think of anything. But her actions speak louder than words.

After having our tounges battle it out for supremacy, I took a deep breath. We noticed the others staring at us. I opened one eye catching a glimpse of a few of them turning around slightly embarassed because of the scene. After breaking the kiss, our eyes met once again, however, I noticed a small glint in her eyes. I smiled, pulled her into an embrace, theni went right next to her ear. "later, love… later" i whispered, raised my head, and winked. I watched as she went a deep crimson. Her eyes glistening in the morning sunlight. As we landed, I watched as ponyvillians trotted up to greet us.

"Mayor Mare, have your ponies set up a press stand for us, we wish to make an announcement" the white alicorn spoke. The mayor nodded, and rallied ponyville.

After what seemed like half an hour, a large gathering of ponies were stood in the town center. Lots of chatter and questions were raised. "my little ponies," Celestia walked up to the podium. The ponies fell silent. "as you know, recently a Human named Dave had somehow ended up in this world," I was leaning up against a wall behind them. "from what I have heard, he has repeatedly put himself in harms way for you," the princess continued. "recently, he has defeated a new threat to all Equestria,"

I smiled, "Dave, step forth and kneel" I walked up to the alicorn sisters, and promtly knelt, sword stabbed into the ground in front of me.

"by power of the sun," Celestia started "by the power of the moon," Luna spoke her part. "we dub thee, Sir Dave, Knight of the wind, Defender of Equestria" i felt the two horns tap my shoulders.

"rise sir Dave" I stood up, and placed the sword back into its scabbard.

"thank you your majesties" I bowed, the two sisters looked at me for a moment.

"you can make a speech ya know" Spike said to me.

"Cant be arsed, not really good at them, Pinkie Pie, are you Pinking what I'm Pinking?" I said jokingly, the pink party pony in question looked at me, confused for a moment. I walked up to the podium. "ponies of ponyville, the impromtu party starts now," I chuckled. "but seriously, I was doing what anyone else would do to protect their new home" I walked off. I heard the ponies conversing once more.

After the pricesses left to take care of Canterlot, I found myself under the same tree I had snoozed under, Sword still by my side.

"Dave, is…is it true?" my vision was blocked by a set of eyes infront of mine.

"whoah hold on Lyra, whats this about?" I asked.

"you and twilight? Is it true?" I nodded with a big smile, but then a shocked expression fell on my face. "oh crapbaskets, I totally forgot" I hugged Lyra and sped off, leaving the teal coloured unicorn effortlessly confused.

I knocked on the door to the Library, taking a deep breath. Twilight opened the door, using her magic to pull me inside. Oor lips locked for what seemed like an eternity.

"twilight…"

"it's okay, I've thought about it, remember when you went for that walk?"

"vaguely yes" I didn't want to think about it too much.

"well, I did some research that day, looking for a way around our little… problem, and found a potion that can turn other things into ponies for a few days" she said with a coy smile "well, that's strangely convieniant isnt it" I said to the 4th wall.

"did you just do a pinkie pie?" Twilihgt asked, I simply nodded with a chuckle.

"how long will this potion take to make?" I asked, remebering the glint in her eyes.

She walked to the fridge, and pulled the potion out. "wow, you must… I'll say no more" she levitated the potion into my hands.

"hopefuly it will work," she seductivly winked "now drink"

within no time at all, I downed the strange liquid, and waited.

20 miutes in and I had started to feel different. "Twilight," I looked a her for a moment, then winked, before I started to glow an eerie golden white "you might wanna go wait for me" I chuckled.

After 5 minutes of glowing, my body had changed, I was now a white furred earth pony, with an orange mane. The cutie mark on my flank emerged as a sword and sheild. I trotted up the stairs, and nuzzled Twilight. "hello love, its me, monkey" I chuckled. The next I know is she's pushed me onto the bed and had crawled on top of me. "is the door locked?" I didn't notice until now, but I heard the door lock.

"you ready my love?" I asked her, she nodded, breathing heavily, we locked lips once more, then started on what could very well be the most exhausting enjoyable feat of endurance I have ever been a part of.

You know the saying "when two become one" I didn't think they met literally.

The gramaphone was jamming out a pony version of barry white for a few hours. Spike was banging on the door, complaining about the "noise"

We made love for 5 hours, which felt more like an eternity. We fell asleep in each others arms after a while of talking it over.

Within two days I had returned to normal, I helped clean the bedsheets, seeing as it was partially my fault they were in the current state of…well…. Best not to explain in full detail why they were in the state they were in. I must have gotten over excited, if you get my meaning.

I stepped out into the world, the Cutie mark was the only ting that remained, although now it was resting on my left forearm. The sword made its hoome on my side once more, ready for what ever danger that would lurk too near the town edge.

She was still wearing my pendant, but I was happy enough knowing that it was safe.

I took another walk, this time Twilight remained by my side during the day.

The joy spread across my face was apparent whenever she kissed me.

The fight against Chaos had been won, and I have finally called this place my home.

After all, home is where the heart is, and my heart is with Twilight.

_May the stars guided you to your next adventure dear reader._

_And to those who have favorited this, I say thank you._

_There will be more to come (get it) in the new year._

_(funnily enough, the whole part about Twiligiht sexing it up was written to tenacious D's double team)_

_2012, the tale of Jumpstart will begin._


	12. Happy hearth warming

_Gimli's Christmas messege._

_Merry christmass one and all._

_I hope you've enjoyed my new fanfics as much _

_as I enjoyed writing them_

_I highly appreciated the good feedback, just_

_Knowing that you've enjoyed it brings a smile on my face._

_In case you are wondering._

_I have decided against writing the "unforgiven" series. It would be bordering on GRIMDARK territory._

_So I decided to begin the planning stages for a seasons based one._

_Spring_

_Summer_

_Autumn_

_Winter_

_The writing stage will begin a week after new years day, so look forward to "Jumpstart into spring" _

_Merry fucking christmas to all_

_And to the haters, FUCK OFF!_


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